A Sober Weekend in Sonoma

… not the first place you’d think of for sober travel.

I surprised myself when I realized I hadn’t been to either Sonoma or Napa in my 20s - back when drinking outside was one of my favorite things to do.

So when my good friend, Tom Horton let me know he was getting married there, I was excited to check it out. Tom and I have been good friends since middle school, and he’s one of those people who hasn’t changed a bit. He takes you right back slipping notes into lockers, (do kids even do that anymore?), random field trips, and hanging out in Taco Bell parking lots.

Last I saw Tom, he was on summer break from teaching history at an international school in China, where we met up in Mexico City. I wrote about buying a one-way ticket the day before I left here.

Tom is one of those people who you can completely be yourself around, and because he’s such a crazy character, even the weirdest people are weirded out by Tom, and that is one of the many reasons why I love him.

I love weddings, and I knew this one would be one for the books - so I invited one of my girlfriends, Maddie, also from middle school who went to the same elementary school as Tom. Living in Los Angeles, Maddie is close by so it was an easy sell for her.

I left for the airport Friday morning, waking up early to pack and shower before I traveled, and flew from Kansas City to Oakland, with a quick layover in LAX. The more I travel, the less I bring.

Maddie and I met the Rental Car Shuttle in Oakland (D3 in Terminal 2 if you were wondering) and we headed to pick up our rental. The poor family in front of us had accidentally booked their rental for Oakland, Michigan instead of Oakland, California and my heart kind of broke for them. So we patiently waited for them to figure out that situation and finally we were up.

I handed the sweet woman my driver’s license and she looked up Maddie and I up and down and said, “you girls look like you would like a red mustang convertible!” I said “YUP!” and Maddie responded with “Hell yeah baby let’s go!!” And yes, those were her exact words.

Growing up, Maddie borrowed her dad’s Ford Explorer and I vividly remember driving around listening to Crime Mob on full blast. We did the same in this red mustang and it brought back all of the nostalgia.

Even though my dad told me specifically under no circumstances, not to spend ANYTIME in Oakland, when Maddie said her bartender recommended a local taco place - I knew I had to say yes.

We pulled in at El Paisa to eat some lunch. Not going to lie, I was a little scared. I’ve been in some pretty questionable places over the years and this one made me wince a bit. The majority of the people eating there sized us up and said, “what are these two girls doing here?” but we ate tacos - both carne asada and enjoyed one of the spiciest salsa I had in a long time. Thrilling, yes. Probably wouldn’t do it again. Parents usually are right about these types of things.

Once we finished the tacos, we headed towards Sonoma - which was about an hour drive and we saw the beautiful Golden Gate bridge from afar. Maddie had previously been to Sonoma so she was up to speed on where to stay. We had booked months in advance at The Inn at Sonoma which was absolutely perfect!

We shared a room with two queen beds, sleepover style and I wouldn’t change a thing. Normalize crashing in a room with your girlfriends, am I right? Once we were settled, we knew exactly what we had to do next: ride bikes. The hotel had free bicycles (something I always look for at hotels in walkable locations) and we were off to the races. In high school, we had frequently rode bikes for fun and again, all of the nostalgia came right back up.

We rode through the Sonoma Plaza taking stock of all of the cute boutiques that we would check out later. We went on a bike path, which was one of the most peaceful & relaxing paths I’ve been on in a while. There were gorgeous bushes, birds, and flowers. That might have been one of my favorite moments.

We explored those boutiques and popped into an Olive Oil shop where Maddie tried the lemon olive oil, I loved that this was a cute option for sober people like me, who love the idea of tasting, but not necessarily with wine. We also stopped into an amazing store called Large Leather and talked with a woman named Jessica who knew everything about leather - I love stopping into little stores like this and connecting with people who know their craft so well. Maddie loved a bedazzled stringray purse that was $1900. 

Since we were attending an outdoor wedding, Maddie was on the hunt for hand-fans and we searched far and wide and still never found them. Note to self: open a fan store in Sonoma.

Sonoma, along with Napa Valley, is known as “wine country” but while we were there it seemed like there was so much more to do than drink wine. Not once was I like, wow this is excessive. I don’t know if that’s because pretty much everywhere has alcohol everywhere so I’ve learned to ignore it or if the town of Sonoma has done a good job catering to other audiences.

After Large Leather, we headed over to Global Hearts to continue the fan search. I love little stores like that, that offer great options that are fair-trade. There’s a part of me that’s a little sketpical at times, like “did a woman in Guatemala actually make this woven bowl?” Maybe that’s me. No fans were found so we thanked the store owner and headed back to the Inn at Sonoma to get ready for a dinner at Tom’s AirBnB with his family.

We saw old friends, had delicious food, cooked by Sophie’s wonderful parents who traveled from China for the wedding and got to catch up with friends I hadn’t seen since highschool.

Fast-forward to Saturday. We slept in, had a wonderful breakfast at the Inn, and laid outside on the roof, which had a beautiful water feature—a hot tub. I did some journaling while Maddie did a yoga flow, and we took our time. Having a slow morning was a nice break from my typically 5 a.m. journal/pray/meditate/gym/walk routine.

We headed to the city square for a lovely art plaza, where I was reminded how important it is to consistently create art. No matter how you express yourself, keep doing it.

It was refreshing to be traveling while still feeling so connected to the local community. It was one of those places where you’re like.. “I can see myself here…” I love a small town vibe and everyone there was so nice. The different artists had so many items to showcase. Including beautiful pots painted by this woman who was supporting end of life care. It’s stuff like that that reminds me we all have a purpose, maybe multiple, and giving back is the quickest way to be fulfilled.

HERE IS THE BEST PART. After we perused the art fair, we headed over the The Church Mouse, which was giving us all of the Sweetest Thing vibes, one of all time my favorite movies. It’s a lovely little thrift store filled with all of things that remind me of growing up in the 90s. Including an Elmer Fudd glass that my parents have too. There’s always a treasure to find, and Maddie discovered the ultimate treasure. SWIMSUITS! She walked me to me and handed a neon green bikini to me and said this is for you. There weren’t any dressing rooms so we headed to a corner and tried on the suits over our clothes, to our surprise but not really, they both fit perfectly. Maddie walked out of there with 2 swimsuits for under $30 and mine cost $10.89. This is what happens when women travel together.

After we celebrated the swimsuits, it was time for a snack. We headed next door to The Sausage Emporium which was just fun to say. It seemed to be a new spot, and I think they were still figuring out who they were as a restaurant. Maddie and I decided on a sausage platter to share and wow it was good. Each sausage came with a pairing sauce - which I loved. Big sauce fan. Will always say yes to sauce.

After our little snack, we put what we didn’t finish in a to go box and headed back to our room to get ready for the wedding at The General’s Daughter.

It was a beautiful wedding, and had so much fun dancing the night away with Tom and Sophie and their families. Sophie had the most beautiful speech, and I lost it when her parents talked even though it was in Mandarin. They had translators but they didn’t need them, I could feel their emotion for releasing their daughter into her next phase of life in their energy. My heart swells for them.

All in all, being sober in Sonoma impressed me. Being from Iowa, a small town with country vibes has a special place in my heart. And man, that California sunshine really does hit different.

When it comes to traveling sober, I recommend having a plan. It was so interesting to be with Maddie because it took me back to when we were younger - and when I was drinking. And for a second a thought crossed my mind, “should I have a sip?” to which I quickly said NOPE. No thank you.

The thought had the same energy of the thoughts that happen when you’re on top of a building and it’s like “jump!” Please tell me I’m not the only one who has these thoughts.

I’m so grateful for my ability to travel to beautiful places in the country and feeling strong in my decision to not drink alcohol. That decision is what’s best for me, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon.

Needless to say, if being around alcohol is something that you are uncomfortable with, I would be very up front with the people you are traveling with and even your accommodations.

As always, I’m here to support. Wishing you safe travels.