My last solo, sober trip to Tulum

… i’m breaking up with solo travel

I’m hoping that this is the last blog that I write about taking a solo trip.

I never thought I would see the day when I would say I’d rather stay home than travel, but I’m pretty much right there.

This trip was unique, it was the middle of January - the coldest weather in KC and my body needed sun. I tried to find a few people to join me and just said, eh just go. I flew into Cancun on a direct flight from Kansas City which I’m obsessed with now and have taken multiple times since Southwest added that flight.

I’ve been traveling solo forever—decades actually. In elementary school, there was a student ambassador program for kids to visit Australia, and my parents sent me. I don’t remember a lot about the trip, but I have every intention of finding out. After that, I frequently visited family outside of Baltimore and flew solo as an 8, 9, and 10-year-old. All of this felt completely normal to me. Do 8-year-olds fly alone anymore?

It’s also important to mention that I am an only child and didn’t have siblings growing up, so I can be extremely independent. I didn’t notice how this impacted my personal life until living with my college roommate, Staci, who grew up as a middle child with two sisters so she was used to sharing and spending time with people frequently. I remember her asking me if I wanted to go to the grocery store with her - a completely normal and kind offer as a roommate- and I was so befuddled by her request that I was almost annoyed with it.

I wasn’t used to doing everyday things with people, and it’s taken me a while to become self-aware of this.

I always thought I was just independent, but the reality is I’m tired of being independent. I want to have a life partner and a group of girlfriends that I love. Sometimes, it seems between the years of 2001 and 2020, women were expected to be these FEMALE BOSS BABES. And I’m like… ok what? I don’t want to do all of this on my own. I know I can’t do all of this on my own.

So that’s what I’m doing. As I transition into group travel only, I’m looking forward to having incredibly meaningful experiences with other people.

Anywho, back to Tulum.

This was a 3 day trip, where I stayed at the Conrad Hilton which was STUNNING. Super quiet, beautiful & elegant property.

It's perfect for couples or even families. However, it was NOT all-inclusive. Even though that option was provided to me, I chose not to take it. Next time, I might because it’s just more fun when you know you don’t have to pay for it.

For this trip, I booked my transportation through ShuttleCentral, which I later learned outsources drivers - so what did my hustler ass do? Got the driver’s number, Charles, and now I hire him for all of my transportation for myself and clients traveling to Cancun. Charles came to Mexico from Belize, to start over, and I want to support that. He’s a great guy - I recommend you check him out on IG. Tell him I sent you.

Charles drove me to Conrad, which took about 45 minutes from the Cancun airport. I checked into the gorgeous room and did what I always do first, look at every single detail in the room - the soaps, the toilet paper, the sheets, the pillows. I especially loved this room because it had a gorgeous plant in it. The best part? There was a stunning balcony with a hot tub that I used more than once. I love a balcony to watch the sun rise & journal.

After I settled into the room, it was time to head down to the beach to get that sun that I had been craving. I also love laying out in the sun and soaking it all up. I was so happy to do this. After a date with vitamin D, it was time to have dinner.

The next day, I hit up the spa for one of The Best Massages Ever. The spa was burning copal and I kept making comments about how good it smelled. Later after spending the majority of the day at the spa, I came back to the room to find a little roller of copal scent in my room. HOW NICE IS THAT?! It’s those little touches that go a long way when staying at different properties.

I made sure to write a beautiful thank you note to the manager of the property and was happy to see the staff be recognized for such a kind & genuine gesture.

After The Best Massage Ever, I was served The Best Popsicle Ever + these little coconut cookies that were made in-house that I couldn't get enough of. Since then, I’ve tried to significantly cut back on sugar, but trust me, those cookies would be worth it.

Later I took myself to a nice sushi dinner, where I sat at the bar and journaled. The amazing chef created beautiful sushi for me, and in true Michelle Plante form, I dropped it on my plate. I know that going out to dinner solo can be one of the hardest things for women when traveling solo, and like I said, I’ve just gotten used to it. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Would I rather sit across from my girlfriends and laugh and talk about our dreams, YES. And I realize that now.

I’m intentionally going out of my comfort zone to create communities with women, even though it’s not my strong suit. I’m doing this because it’s important to me.

I cannot go to Tulum without buying Copal incense, so I knew I would have to head into town. I don’t like leaving my house after dark, let alone a hotel in another country, so I talked with the hotel front desk about arranging transportation for me. I like this more than an Uber because while it costs a little bit more, the security is worth it to me. Plus, the car will wait while I run into a little grocery store or eat the spiciest tacos of my life on the street. It was my last night there, so I went for it.

It took about 20 minutes to get into town, I did my best with my espanol (I took German in highschool, ok?!) I actually did take a year of Spanish but it was my senior year and I had senioritis so it doesn’t count.

We headed into town where I walked into a sweet supermarket. I'm not sure if people were staring at me intentionally or if it was just obvious that I didn’t belong, but it was ok. I’m used to it by now. I bought what I came for, which was copal incense, enough for me and for my friends Kevin & Angie, and then searched high and low for the best taco truck. Few things in life make me happier than street tacos and I always KNOW in Tulum they are going to be amazing.

We stopped at El Flaco, where I got 2 tacos and decided to test my insanity and added the “extra spicy” salsa to my tacos. Lord, why do I do this to myself? My eyes are watering even thinking about this experience. I LOVE spicy food but my mouth does not. I knew it from the second the salsa hit my taste buds that I was going to be uncomfortable for the foreseeable future.

It was so interesting what happened next.

My mouth hurt. A lot. And I had no cash left. So I couldn’t buy any of the drinks at the cart.

For a second I was going to ask my driver to take me to a hospital.

I have had similar experiences before, where I get a little too confident with the spice level just to instantly regret it while everyone else shakes their head in disappointment. Usually, I’m at a restaurant. With water. And other beverages. And I can order other food.

This time, I was without anything. I was back in the car, and just asked him to drive back and I knew what I had to do. I just sat there. I sat, and I witnessed all of the pain and stories and thoughts that were happening in my brain while I experienced this in my body. I just sat with it. I closed my eyes and started breathing and focusing, and I was telling myself that this was only temporary. Honestly, I felt like a badass. Minutes before this, I was considering how to say “Please take me to the hospital” in Spanish, and now I was almost kind of enjoying the fact that I had mastered my mind in this way.

I kept breathing, and the pain went away. And now I’ve started to do this with my rampant thoughts around other things. Maybe when I receive an email from someone that doesn’t seem as kind as it could have been. Or when people in front of me walk too slow. Or sometimes when I’m on hold with customer service and I have to remind myself that being frustrated literally does nothing except make me feel worse.

It was such a beautiful moment that I’ll always remember. It felt like I needed to go on that trip to learn that lesson. A lesson from tacos.

Back at the hotel, I chugged water, took a hot shower, and went to sleep.

The rest of the time at the hotel, I paddleboarded, laid in the sun, drank juice, and tried to get clear on the life that I’m living. I’m always looking for ways to find more meaning in life, and for me, travel helps me do that.

Toward the end of the trip, I started to feel lonely. That uncomfortable feeling that I hate and is most likely at the root of many of my self-inflicted problems. So what did I do? Honestly I’m not proud to say this but I got gelato. And the guy working at the gelato stand gave it to me for free which was nice. It was cherry cheesecake and it might have been one of the best things ever. Like I said earlier, I’m taking a break from the sugar and it’s been fun to reflect on the sweet treats I used to have before this.

Solo travel is a beautiful skill I’ve learned over time, and I’m not choosing to pursue it any further unless absolutely necessary. I understand there is so much liberation and freedom in traveling solo, and I’ve decided that it’s no longer for me.

Women, we are better together.

We deserve the world.